Now

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Someone out there at this exact moment is doing what they want to do and living the dream, they are living a life that you wish you could live, they are even doing what you love doing; and although they did not have the privileges that you do, they are probably less smarter than you are, had less money than you do, and they did not even have the love and security that you do. But they achieved, they are there, and are living the life that you wish you could. And no, there were not born “rich and privileged” nor were they “lucky”. So you should know that you could actually do more, have more and be more.

“You should know that you could actually do more, have more, and be more”

There should be no more excuses for your own happiness and path in life, there should be no more fear of going out there and facing whatever it is that you want to do, there should be no “being on the safe side” anymore; be fearless – you can do this, and you will do this, you will do anything you set your mind into otherwise they are all excuses that you’re setting for the life that you want to.

Ask yourself, “What is my purpose?” and try finding answers; have a clear purpose, have a clear direction as to where you want to be and you will. Ask yourself “What am I doing right this moment?” are you doing what you really want to? Or are you doing what you think you have to? Take chances, take risks and most importantly be fearless and only then you will realize that nothing and I mean nothing will or can stop you once you put your car on D and just lead the way.

“Are you doing what you want to? or are you doing what you have to?

Wake up every day knowing exactly what your vision is, wake up every day heading towards this clear vision that you set for yourself and you will, you will get there no matter what others tell you, it is your life and once you have this clear vision of how your life should look like and the direction you want it to be, you will start fighting, you will never give up even if odds were in your direction, you will wake up everyday with this energy that you have never seen before, the weakness and lack of energy that you think you have today will diminish because be sure that your great asset is your mental ability and not your physical ability as a famous person once said, your mental ability is what you will need regardless of circumstances.

 

Believe in yourself, never doubt yourself when life gets tough, or when challenges worsen – cause they will, but never doubt your ability to succeed. Never doubt what it was that made you want to change your life in the first place. It is your mind and only your mind that could make you rise to the top, or could make you fall.

“Never doubt what was that made you want to change your life in the first place”

So believe in you and listen to you. Lead the direction that you want, control your mind and your mental ability to succeed and reach your goals regardless of what people think, regardless of your circumstance and regardless of society’s definition of success. Ask any elderly person about their regrets and the first thing they will say is that they did not do and fight for what they truly wanted to do, they will tell you they regret ever listening to those around them, they will tell you that they wish they could turn back time and DO what they truly wanted to do– don’t be that person.

Start thinking today of what is it that you really want to do, and where you really want to be and truly believe in yourself that you can and will succeed. 

Elimination

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We are highly impacted by people in our lives, people who we spend the most time with, and people who just simply exist within our circle. Our conscious and unconscious minds and our bodies are highly impacted by those around us; Our friends, family, co-workers, and business partners – could be anyone.

The impact we have by those within our circle could be a positive impact, or could be a highly negative impact that sometimes we fail to see, blame ourselves, or blame external forces when in reality those negative effects are striking right from those close to us that we just simply prefer not believing because of the overwhelming impact it might cause us if we do so, so first thing we do is blame ourselves or external forces.

 

For example: let’s say you were going to a party, got ready, and got dressed. A close friend of yours comes over to pick you up and says, “You look like you’ve gained weight”. There are two possible conclusions that your mind is telling you to think: Either that friend genuinely cares for you and sees that you have gained weight and was just informing you in order for you to try to get that back on track again, or that that person just simply wants to feed you off of their insecurities. You go scale yourself and see that your weight remains the same or you might even lost some. – You can here draw your own conclusions.

 

Some people bring out the best in us while others strive in bringing us down. Some that we even think are in our lives for the right reasons turn out to be those wishing and wanting what’s best for them excluding our own feelings.

Do we truly know these people who exist amongst us? Do we really know their intentions towards us? Can we really call them out on wanting to harm us? It is a tough call for sure. But that doesn’t mean we ignore the fact that some people could be impacting our lives negatively and fail to determine that we need instant life-changing decisions to be made in order to better our existence and life in general.

What’s even more frustrating is that do we really give them the benefit of the doubt? How many times do we do that? Do we know when enough is enough? Sometimes our judgments could lead to unnecessary roadblocks, but it is essential in keeping an eye open and never doubting what your gut feeling is telling you to do. So start asking yourself “How many times do I give someone the benefit of the doubt?” once, twice, three-times?

Try your best in answering the question of how much time do you need to suffer in order for you to eliminate them completely out of your life? How many times you need to give that person the benefit of the doubt?

The main challenge in all of this is trying to identify people’s intentions around you and how to deal with each and every one of them accordingly. This may be tough, but it is only going to help increase your chances of eliminating who’s causing you to live a negative lifestyle and starting a positive path in life.

You need to answer the following questions:

Who empowers you?

  • Who always strives to motivate you to move forward?
  • Who always wants to see you succeed?
  • Who always has something positive to share rather than constantly focusing on the negatives in any given situation?

Who puts you down?

  • Who never supports you on any decisions you want to take?
  • Who always has something negative to share about your life or decisions you make?
  • Who constantly focuses and sees the negatives rather than the positives?

It took me a while to answer those questions but as soon as I did, I knew I had big decisions to make. I knew how painful it was going to be to let people go, but I did not doubt for a second that I was going to have inner peace and nothing but empowerment from those who bring out the best in me.

Justifications regarding keeping those who bring us down in your life shouldn’t be made, because they will only be made based on emotions, and in order to find your inner peace you should deal very carefully with emotions and start thinking with your head. You should never settle for less than what truly makes you happy.

Once you pinpoint those who constantly bring you down, it becomes easy to distant yourself from them and start appreciating those who empower you to be the best.        You should never make excuses for those who bring you down; it is irrelevant thinking of how long you may have known these people because only then you are giving more excuses for yourself to settle for less than what you truly deserve, and giving them more chances to put you down every chance they get. And you do not deserve that.

Always believe in yourself, listen to what your mind is telling you not your heart. Because once you do, you are going to be in total control of your life, it is going to be your sole responsibility to build a true sense of self with those you are surrounded by who support and want nothing but see you succeed in life.

It is your responsibility to trust yourself and the decisions you make starting this point on, because believe it or not this will be a step closer in finding your direction and a sense of self, a place that I am sure every single one of us strives to reach each and every day. But if you truly want to reach this happy state of mind, you need to start looking around you, open your eyes, listen to that inner voice and start making tough calls.

Make tough decisions so that your future self will thank you for.

 

Direction

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Sometimes in life and in a blink of an eye everything can change. Change can be good but sometimes it isn’t; we are all terrified of change, within every one of us this hidden mindset that is so systematic underneath all the chaos around that all we really try to do is stabilize our lives with very minimalistic efforts in having to face big changes, unless those changes were made for a better future, better financial stability or bettering our existing life. In general, we crave for a better change, but fear significantly a sudden unexpected change that isn’t on the pleasant side. And that’s normal. We aren’t prepared for events that aren’t under our control, or events that might cause us to shut down – but life does happen.

“WE CRAVE FOR A BETTER CHANGE, BUT FEAR SIGNIFICANTLY A SUDDEN UNEXPECTED CHANGE”

I come from a culture, where the vast majorities aren’t vocal or expressive in their personal challenges and struggles, and their struggles are only shared to family. And that’s okay. The only problem is that I –myself, always chose to express few of my battles publically, I’ve always liked being open about everything that’s going on in my life, I have my limits of course – but I do share a lot. That’s my own way of expressing my struggles and maybe that’s my way in getting through them.

 

I made the mistake to go public with a situation that recently happened in my life, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve always been vocal about my life, but this time I felt I was digging a deeper hole than I initially anticipated, I did the biggest mistake in being who I am which is expressing my own struggles publicly because what I got in return to me sharing “my own” struggle was unexpected. I was being judged for expressing my emotions at a time of need and desperation, I was told I was faking it, I was told I was making it seem bigger than it actually is, I was even told I looked ‘too happy’ that whatever I was experiencing in my life at that moment was nothing but a complete lie.

“I DID THE BIGGEST MISTAKE IN BEING WHO I AM WHICH IS EXPRESSING MY OWN STRUGGLES PUBLICLY”

I felt hurt and humiliated more than I could have ever imagined especially having to hear nasty, cold-hearted, unimaginable words from those I thought were the closest to me. I also felt hurt from those who showed no concern whatsoever. But I am thankful that those were only the minority and I am forever grateful for the support system that I unexpectedly had.

 

What most people did not know is that whatever struggles I go thru, I do not dwell on them, I fight, I stay positive, I live my life normally and I pray. All I wanted to do in some way or another is to show people that whatever they may be experiencing in their lives, they can overcome it by not dwelling on it and by being patient; as cheesy as this might sound I wanted to inspire people and give them this push to know that we are all the same, we all go thru struggles and most importantly staying strong, living a normal life dealing with any struggle and praying is of value; but what I got in return and what I truly did not expect was that I was going to be judged from those closest to me. What I did not know was that I needed to rethink my entire circle then and there and to willingly cut them off forever.

“AS CHEESY AS THIS MIGHT SOUND I WANTED TO INSPIRE PEOPLE”

I was in utter disbelief that I had those people in my life to begin with. Not only did I have to cut those people off of my life, but I also had to reconsider my entire circle of people and had to make changes to better my life, my mind-set and my future. I made this decision not based on my emotions like I usually do, but I followed what my mind and the direction I knew I had to make in order for me to live my life knowing that I got rid of people who were only comfortable being there when life was all rainbows and butterflies.

I also realized that I shared too much. Not only throughout this journey but also throughout my entire life. Sharing everything about my life was always a part of who I was. People in a way expected me to share everything while they had their own personal lives that I knew nothing about. I am not saying they are wrong for not sharing, I was wrong for sharing everything.

“I AM NOT SAYING THEY ARE WRONG FOR NOT SHARING, I WAS WRONG FOR SHARING EVERYTHING”

I came to the conclusion that most people did not share. And that’s fine, so I knew I-myself had to change. People’s engagements, pregnancies, life events, even vacations were always kept a secret until a certain time. Again this is the way it’s supposed to be in my culture and its fine. I knew I was being too expressive in literally every little detail in my life right when it happens but life teaches you that in some cases you need to reflect on your life and learn how to be with others the way they are with you. And that’s exactly what I did. And when I did that people thought I changed. I did not change; I only became a reflection of who they are and how things are supposed to be. I did not want to be the odd one no more.

“I ONLY BECAME A REFLECTION OF WHO THEY ARE. I DID NOT WANT TO BE THE ODD ONE NO MORE”

This certain phase in my life changed me to the better, I realized things I was not aware of, or was blinded by. I realized the awesome people I have in my life and held them close. I realized that certain phases that happen in life are just lessons to see a bigger picture of who you truly are and who you surround yourself with. I am glad I can fully close this chapter in my life with the changes I have made knowing that I will no longer look back at this and say this was a struggle but instead this was a direction.

“I WILL NO LONGER LOOK BACK AT THIS AND SAY THIS WAS A STRUGGLE BUT INSTEAD THIS WAS A DIRECTION”

Things i’ve done that changed my life forever, and you should too

Business people in conflict.1. Eliminating negative people:

If i wanted to describe myself i’d say i am a very optimistic and a positive gal. Ever since i was young i’ve always looked at the glass half full (With the exception of math tests – Of course) however i’ve encountered a bunch of people along the way who always always looked at the glass half empty. Now let me tell you this, although looking at some situations with a “glass half empty” mind set doesn’t necessary mean that that person is negative, for me, they are. I find it so uncomfortable sitting with a person who’s always negative and complaining about life, i mean lets face it, we all have the “down moments” in our lives, but talking about them and letting people in all the time about them, is gonna eventually make you seem like a very sad, negative person. So I’ve made a decision and oh-my! Was it the best decision i’ve ever done. I finally got rid of all those who are negative and feeding me off of their sad negative outlook on life. The more you surround yourself with those negative people the more you’re actually going to feel the same exact way they do.

2. Eliminating people with no goals or objectives:

Now, while some of us do have ambitions and goals in life, we know exactly what we want for our future or hope to be one day, some people do-not! Those living by the motto “Lets take it day-by-day” kind of people do irritate me. Let me tell you why, those  living their lives as a day-by-day basis are too afraid for planning their future, they assume that by planning their future things aren’t going to turn out the way they planned, and they do rely heavily on luck. I am not suggesting that whatever you plan for in the future will indeed turn out exactly the way you want but knowing exactly what you want or at least hope to achieve will get you there and NOT by luck but by hard work and ambition to reach those goals you’ve set. I’ve met some people here in Switzerland who did not go to collage nor even finished high school and by the age of 24 years old they are finally realizing that being lazy and not wanting to work hard has indeed led them to flipping burgers at McDonalds, just cause they lived by “living day-by-day” motto. We are in the 21st century where competition is fierce and relying heavily on luck won’t and i mean it WON’T get you anywhere. So i’ve decided to get rid of those with no ambitions in life, they will just keep feeding you with non sense about your own decisions and probably even tell you “Don’t stress out about the future” oh-no hunny i do wanna stress out for the future, and it’s called having ambitions and planning not stress.

People dancing in the night club3. Eliminating Party-Addicts:

Living as a student abroad is indeed stressful, i mean you left your home, family and friends to get a degree abroad. But there are limits to everything, those who have reached the age of 24 years old and still partying, and by partying i mean P.A.R.T.Y.I.N.G on a weekly basis, all they do and talk about on Monday’s is to “Where the next party is gonna happen” those in my eyes are extremely ambition-less. At least from my own experience and observation. If you are not a party person, then you have no friends, Or if you have reached the age where partying is so 5 years ago, you still have no friends. Thats just ridiculous, and no i don’t wanna be with the cool-kids no more, Thank you very much.

Do you really think that Steve Jobs or Bill Gates partied each and every week? No, they didn’t, and therefor they were successful.

Pretty woman waking up early in bed4. Waking up at 7 a.m:

Now, lets face it, some of us do wake up early, but not me. I will admit it, i love sleeping, i mean who doesn’t right? but again sleeping till 11-12 in the noon just wasn’t right, and it only got worst as i got older, staying up at night, reading books, watching movies and of course YouTube just to avoid going to bed has led to sleep inertia, the feeling of extreme disorientation or grogginess after waking. Although it was extremely difficult to change that at first but as soon as i got the hang of it, it changed my life, it turned my life upside down – in a positive way i mean.

What i did was changing my alarm ringtone to LOUD and by alarm ringtone i mean that ringtone that sounds like a fire alarm, that freaks you out and wakes up extremely mad wanting to hit your phone in the wall – yea that one!

another method i used was to set my alarm one hour to 30minutes before, knowing that “Snooze” is my best friend, this really helps, and you will get the same doze of Snooze you needed to wake up. And finally, As soon as it hit 7 a.m with no turning back i’d head to the bathroom immediately and then make my bed before having my morning coffee. Do it once, and it will be a routine. Trust me. Unless you are a party-addict of course.

Enjoying the nature5. Forgive yourself:

I’ve read an article once that said:

“You did this but “should’ve” done that. Years spent in a certain relationship, career, addiction, negativity, s****y health, fear – the bottom line is, it is all okay. You cannot really move on until you forgive yourself for being human”

After reading this, it hit me. We all make mistakes, We all wish that we’ve done something differently, and in order for you to feel happy from within try to forgive yourself, try to embrace your mistakes into experiences rather than regrets.

Start straight for business6. JUST START!

Whatever you want to do, whatever you feel is your passion. Just do it, start by actually doing it. Do not wait to get approval or acceptance from others. whether or not its going to work, try.

whether or not its the right moment for it, try.

The only thing you are going to regret, is actually not trying and not starting. Do not let others tell you its not a good idea or its not a good time to do it. Just start and you’ll get the hang of it. A professor once told me, it all starts with an idea. So if you have it in you, then why not start applying it.

Girl's Cry7. Forgive those who hurt you:

Now, about forgiveness I’ve written a whole article about that. Botton line is try to forgive others, it is in our best interest to forgive. Get rid of the grudges you have for others and let go.