We are highly impacted by people in our lives, people who we spend the most time with, and people who just simply exist within our circle. Our conscious and unconscious minds and our bodies are highly impacted by those around us; Our friends, family, co-workers, and business partners – could be anyone.
The impact we have by those within our circle could be a positive impact, or could be a highly negative impact that sometimes we fail to see, blame ourselves, or blame external forces when in reality those negative effects are striking right from those close to us that we just simply prefer not believing because of the overwhelming impact it might cause us if we do so, so first thing we do is blame ourselves or external forces.
For example: let’s say you were going to a party, got ready, and got dressed. A close friend of yours comes over to pick you up and says, “You look like you’ve gained weight”. There are two possible conclusions that your mind is telling you to think: Either that friend genuinely cares for you and sees that you have gained weight and was just informing you in order for you to try to get that back on track again, or that that person just simply wants to feed you off of their insecurities. You go scale yourself and see that your weight remains the same or you might even lost some. – You can here draw your own conclusions.
Some people bring out the best in us while others strive in bringing us down. Some that we even think are in our lives for the right reasons turn out to be those wishing and wanting what’s best for them excluding our own feelings.
Do we truly know these people who exist amongst us? Do we really know their intentions towards us? Can we really call them out on wanting to harm us? It is a tough call for sure. But that doesn’t mean we ignore the fact that some people could be impacting our lives negatively and fail to determine that we need instant life-changing decisions to be made in order to better our existence and life in general.
What’s even more frustrating is that do we really give them the benefit of the doubt? How many times do we do that? Do we know when enough is enough? Sometimes our judgments could lead to unnecessary roadblocks, but it is essential in keeping an eye open and never doubting what your gut feeling is telling you to do. So start asking yourself “How many times do I give someone the benefit of the doubt?” once, twice, three-times?
Try your best in answering the question of how much time do you need to suffer in order for you to eliminate them completely out of your life? How many times you need to give that person the benefit of the doubt?
The main challenge in all of this is trying to identify people’s intentions around you and how to deal with each and every one of them accordingly. This may be tough, but it is only going to help increase your chances of eliminating who’s causing you to live a negative lifestyle and starting a positive path in life.
You need to answer the following questions:
Who empowers you?
- Who always strives to motivate you to move forward?
- Who always wants to see you succeed?
- Who always has something positive to share rather than constantly focusing on the negatives in any given situation?
Who puts you down?
- Who never supports you on any decisions you want to take?
- Who always has something negative to share about your life or decisions you make?
- Who constantly focuses and sees the negatives rather than the positives?
It took me a while to answer those questions but as soon as I did, I knew I had big decisions to make. I knew how painful it was going to be to let people go, but I did not doubt for a second that I was going to have inner peace and nothing but empowerment from those who bring out the best in me.
Justifications regarding keeping those who bring us down in your life shouldn’t be made, because they will only be made based on emotions, and in order to find your inner peace you should deal very carefully with emotions and start thinking with your head. You should never settle for less than what truly makes you happy.
Once you pinpoint those who constantly bring you down, it becomes easy to distant yourself from them and start appreciating those who empower you to be the best. You should never make excuses for those who bring you down; it is irrelevant thinking of how long you may have known these people because only then you are giving more excuses for yourself to settle for less than what you truly deserve, and giving them more chances to put you down every chance they get. And you do not deserve that.
Always believe in yourself, listen to what your mind is telling you not your heart. Because once you do, you are going to be in total control of your life, it is going to be your sole responsibility to build a true sense of self with those you are surrounded by who support and want nothing but see you succeed in life.
It is your responsibility to trust yourself and the decisions you make starting this point on, because believe it or not this will be a step closer in finding your direction and a sense of self, a place that I am sure every single one of us strives to reach each and every day. But if you truly want to reach this happy state of mind, you need to start looking around you, open your eyes, listen to that inner voice and start making tough calls.
Make tough decisions so that your future self will thank you for.